xXemalineXx

I hate everything about this account. Especially my username. I haven't decided if it would be be better to keep submitting here or just start over with a new account. I deleted all my notes and all my work that I wouldn't care to show to anyone else. I'm embarrassed at the absolute shit mess this account became and I want to erase all memory of it and who I was and what I wanted at the time. It's why I kept leaving, coming back and promising to upload more quality work. But the quality wasn't there. I'm not going to do any of what I know will get me noticed, attract watchers and comments. I'm going to post what I'M proud of and want to

We put one of the dogs down the day before Thanksgiving. It was rough. He had a brain tumor and his personality changed completely. He probably didn't remember us. It felt like living in a house full of strangers. He attacked my dad and I was afraid to see him and be with him because I didn't want my last memories with him to be being bitten by him. It's not who he was. So, he's gone, and I didn't really get to say goodbye. His last day with us was confusing and scary and only one of our family was there in his final moments. I feel awful.

He was only 18. I spoke to him a few times and reached out in my own, odd way. I cleaned out his backpack and organized his homework and books. I gave him answers and explanations to assignments in class. I admired his smirky, half-smile that was just always...there. He ran with a different crowd, but he was never obnoxious. Distracted, maybe, but quiet and respectful. That smile never left his face for long. He didn't question when I took his bag and rifled through it. He just smiled as I giggled and gave myself something to do, and the next day, he offered it to me. On no significant day, I tore a small scrap of paper from my notebook an